Temper Management & Our Lifestyle

I am very thankful to one of my employer for such a wonderful session on temper management in recent days. We heard about anger/temper management in induction at the time of joining any organization or sometimes from family physician. Some of the readers may attended such sessions in past as well. Then why should we attend such sessions after certain period of time? I truly believe that the lifestyle is changing dramatically in developing countries like India where every another year we have to face new challenges hence new personalities. This is the fact that I experienced is if there were four factors impacting our life before decade then now eight factors impacting our life persona. So that it is necessary to learn new techniques to tackle new challenges making us enable to learn additional techniques to manager our temper.

Here is five facts that will help you to understand what factors causes to anger and its effects, mentally as well physically:

1. Anger is secondary emotion:

In the process of becoming angry, there are three mental stages we gone through and those are once behavior, feelings and thoughts respectively. A bad behavior, hurting feelings and thinking about a thoughts will result to anger. So it is recommended to control your behavior FIRST as most of the times once body gesture trigger anger person next to you then comes feeling and thoughts to manage your anger in better way.

2. Uncontrolled anger results to rage

Actually, uncontrolled anger impact either to yourself or person next to you. If you never express your anger then it will damage you internally which will invite number of diseases. If you expressed your anger to the person who makes your angry then it will harm that person.

3. Cause of anger

Insecurity and fear are primary cause of anger. The best example is an innocent student who humiliated in front of class by teacher will feel angry whenever he see that teacher in his lifetime. This anger caused due to fear to express your innocence in front of elder person.

4. Use ‘I’, not ‘You’

You should explain your feelings by keeping your feeling in your mind. Because person that make you angry may not hurt you intentionally. So that always use word ‘I’ instead of blaming next person by using ‘You’. This is the fact that the situation that makes you angry may not make angry to another person.

5. Maintain low voice
Keeping voice low will makes you little comfortable to think about situation which makes you angry. There is very famous quote you may come across – If a person shouts then another listens but if both are shouting then neighbor listens.

Apart from above facts about anger, there are 8 ways to manage your temper:

1. Recognize the trigger

No one makes you angry, anger is your choice. So work on what makes you angry and try to recognize those triggers. This is first step to recognize your trigger point to anger to control it.

2. Focus on breathing

Everyone may experience that when you become angry, we breathe faster than normal breathing. So control your breathing at the time of anger. Again this need lot of practice and patience to exercise to control your breath in such situations.

3. Replace angry thoughts with rational thoughts

Try to replace angry thoughts with rational and good thoughts. You can think that the person next to you is not hurting intentionally but current circumstances forced him to speak hard with you.

4. Forgive and releasing

In line with replacing angry thoughts with rational one, forgiving the person who makes you angry will help you overcome temper. Most of the time at workplace, people do speak hard cause to anger where forgiving such people and focusing on work to be accomplished together will makes you little relax.

5. Solve the problem

Always try to work on analyzing problem that makes you angry and focus on problems to sort those out for better anger management.

6. Better communication

Always do speak or use any medium to contact person who makes you angry and explain what behavior hurt you which result into anger. In most of the cases, angry person hesitate to communicate and creating communication gap widening chances to spread more anger at both the side. 

7. Crack ‘silly jokes’

At work place or meet-up with friends, people do humiliate unintentionally or intentionally to their co-worker or friends throwing them in angry situation. Try to develop skills to crack silly jokes in front of such groups to lower the impact of temper. As well as such acts boost your confidence to overcome such an angry situation with big smiles on every face around you.

8. Relaxation

Anger frequently manifests in the form of muscle tension. Mostly shoulder and neck having little pain at start and you feel stressful. Take a quick break to relax your muscles to feel more comfort before anger harm your body.

At the end, keep in mind that you need whole lot of exercise to manager your temper in line with explained eight factors. Wish you all the very best :)